“Be alert and present and see that your identity is not from your past story” -Eckhart Tolle
I’ve been tossing around an idea in my head. Kind of like playing pass, the idea started and I revisit it often and add a new element now and then, keeping the ball in play. (wow, go me, I used a sport reference!) I’m not sure if it started with listening to some Kyle Cease stuff or reading Eckhart Tolle.
But basically I like the idea of not being defined by my story. Yes, I have 3 kids. Yes, I was married young for almost 14 years and I’m not anymore. Sure, I’ve worked as a landscape designer, retail designer, blah blah blah… There are so many labels we attach to ourselves and wear like jewelry, or worse…shackles. We voluntarily sign up and define who we are so easily and then feel confined. For example:
I’m a man
I’m a wife
I’m an entrepreneur
I’m a giver
I’m a musician
I’m a democrat
I’m a republican
I’m a mom
I’m a cat person
I’m a fighter
I’m a writer
I’m a doctor
Well I for one am sick of labels! I mean really…I am truly tired of hearing my own story, repeating it over and over. I guess because I’m single and go on first dates fairly frequently I have the opportunity to hear myself and I feel it’s incredibly limiting. None of my past defines who I am. Especially the not-so-good choices I’ve made (of which I forgive myself and hopefully learned from).
“Knowing yourself is to be rooted in being, instead of lost in your mind” -Eckhart Tolle
So what then or who am I? Instead of repeating my story I’ve started saying other things in my head like…
I’m not a divorcee (and in my heart I’m not). Not because I still want to be with my ex, but because our relationship lived a long time and it came to a natural end. “Conscious uncoupling” as they call it. It doesn’t mean I have to join a subculture of sad divorcee’s does it?
I’m a mother to many things besides my children. …i.e: my dogs, my self, the birds and lizards I feed in my yard, sometimes my friends, and sometimes my parents!
I’m not always a woman. Okay, this one is tough since I consider myself to be fairly feminine, but it’s true. I make money, pay the bills, make the house rules, clean out the garage, take out the trash, meet people on Craigslist, build a bbq, and fix my kitchen sink. These are all things I do and some that I previously thought were a man’s job…so?
Some labels are good, some bad, but none of them really express me 100%. I have to admit there is a faint voice in my head saying, “…somebody is having a mid-life crisis!” (hehe, …the voice thinks it’s quite funny).
I’m wondering if I should show up to the next date and tell him, I’m not a divorcee. I’m not even a woman sometimes and see if he heads for the hills. Probably better if I leave my rant for the blog, but it’s tempting.
Besides if I leave my story behind I will open new doors…explore the unknown…create new positive experiences…live in the moment!! These are things I sincerely wish to cultivate in my life and they are entirely free. And I believe they will fall into place when I take off a layer of labels and …just let go. “Hello future”
Please feel free to share your labels and triumphantly leave them on the blog where they belong. 🙂
with ♥, Brooke