Sometimes I can feel a blog post coming on like a fever and other times its a slow deliberate walkabout. The latter of the two has been my most recent experience.
My ex-husband was out of town for 10 days traveling and so of course I had my kids while he was gone although normally we share custody. After 14 years with my kids in a 2 parent home (full time of course), why should 10 days straight be anything but normal? I guess after 4 years of divorce, Buddha Mama has really started to appreciate her “me” time. 🙂 In fact, sometimes when the kids go back to their Dad’s I get really ambitious and tidy up the house top to bottom so I can enjoy uninterrupted clean for a few days. …and TRUST ME for a mom with 3 kids and 2 dogs this is *true joy* Then I get to a hot yoga class and pick up food so I don’t have to cook. It’s pretty great.
But back to 10 days straight… I made it by the skin of my teeth. Was it the fact my 17 year old son was using his dad’s vacant house as an afternoon clubhouse? Or the tattoo he was unrelentingly working me over to get? Or maybe it was my 14 year old daughter who decided she must die her hair pink immediately?! Or (…yes, there’s more) my 9 year old’s multi-weekend 10 hour a day dance recital activity that my ex-husband conveniently missed entirely? Well I will admit, the hair is now pink but thankfully we avoided the underage tattoo experience. …Whew, I’m telling you, skin of my teeth.
It was 10 days of fun and a bit of frustration. The usual going-ons around here. But I’m so grateful for one thing…the one thing that gets me sane and puts my head on straight when I start to go off the deep end. It’s the one thing that shifts EVERYTHING. I’m grateful that I can get grateful. I’m grateful I can remember how to slow down the auto-pilot, ego-driven, enjoys-occasional-bitching self and get grateful to ground zero. It takes me back to the bottom where I can start fresh. Here’s the definition:
1.the point on the earth’s surface directly above or below an exploding nuclear bomb.
2.a starting point or base for some activity.“if you’re starting at ground zero in terms of knowledge, go to the library”
So if I take a few minutes and really sink into the feeling…the momentary escape from the nuclear bomb going off in my life to the base point of calm and refreshed- the shift is undeniably profound…and a buddha mamas is reborn.
Here’s my trick to getting grateful when I’m super rushed and spiraling into oblivion; I keep a personalized list on my phone in the “Notes” app of inspiring affirmations. Pretty simple really, but when I’m sitting in line at pick up or ready to crash and burn after dinner it helps. Directly from my phone:
- I am grateful for my experiences and my ability to learn from them
- I welcome more love into my life. Love that feels light and not heavy. Love that is healthy and pure is part of my experience
- I give love away easily and I receive love easily
- I forgive myself for judging myself in the past
- I am open to discovering new options in my life. I am open to receiving new ways of being
- I love myself for my huge capacity to experience love
- I am experiencing love and support in the safety of the Universe at all times (yes, I borrowed this from the sticker on my door-see previous blog post)
- My world is filled with love and devotion to God. It infuses my life with meaning
- I trust God has me in His safekeeping
And one more thing I experienced recently while contemplating about this post…
My 9 year old was furiously mad at her sister the other night. I went upstairs to tuck her into bed and she was lit up in anger. Instead of trying to solve the problem or rationalize with her I said, “let’s try something that usually helps me when I’m upset..” and we made a list going back in forth about things we were grateful for in our lives. She was incredibly creative saying things like, “I’m grateful we have an army that keeps us safe.” And…”I’m grateful you’re healthy mommy,” And, “I’m grateful that I have fashion.”
Her list was all her own and it made me think we should all have such honest truthfulness with ourselves big or small. I would like to add to my list …I’m grateful I have a non-dairy creamer that I LOVE with my coffee, I’m grateful I have dogs who are such great listeners, and I’m SO grateful to have readers on my blog! 🙂
If you feel inspired please feel free to share your grateful-list or your story. I love to read your beautiful messages. -thank you for sharing in advance!
with ♥, Brooke